Saturday, July 10, 2010

I might be procrastinating a 3000 word research paper right now.

It's due at midnight.

I have 400 words completed.

But I might not be procrastinating at all.

You never know.

I just had some thoughts. Some personal thoughts and a few sad thoughts. Thoughts that if I think about them too much, I get a knot in my throat.

But personal thoughts first:
  1. I love my husband
  2. I love the temple
  3. I'm graduating from college in 10 DAYS!!! And I only have a 3000 word research paper to type, a 12 page booklet to design, 4 tests to study for and complete, a few 2 page papers to type, a negotiation to figure out, a magazine to design, and a rhetorical discourse paper to write!  THAT'S ALL!!!
  4. I also have a bunch of graduation events to attend. They cost money. That's something we don't have. Oh well... you only graduate from college once, right? 
  5. I wish that a certain someone and I would please get along so we can love each other and love our family. 

Sad thoughts:
A father, friend, and husband in our ward passed away this last week. He has a 5 month old daughter. It is tragic. And even though I didn't know this individual very well, his death has deeply effected me.
I'm scared of a few things. Hospitals, Doctor's offices (including dentists, old folks homes, and eye doctors), and funerals. Since Dave had a class during this man's funeral this week, I felt like I couldn't go alone, so I didn't go. But this death and the effects of it have been haunting my thoughts.
What is his wife going to do? How can I help her? She has a tiny baby, who will help her raise the baby? What would I do if this happened to me? Why did this have to happen to her? They are so young. Why does she have to go through this? This is my very worst fear. More than hospitals and doctors, I fear the loss of my dear, good, sweet, honorable husband. I'm sure that this husband and wife planned on having more kids, planned on sending their boys on missions, planned on retiring and serving a mission together. They planned on holding their grandchildren.
Now their time is cut so very short. And it breaks my heart.

I'm so thankful for my husband. So thankful for the life we have. So thankful for the time we have. Life is so precious. Cherish it. Tell someone you love them today. Because you never know when they will be gone. I pray that Dave and I will grow old together. I pray that we will serve a mission together, that we can hold our grandchildren. I pray for time.

Please, Lord. Allow us more time.

1 comment:

  1. oh man, that is a horrible story. Don't say things like that in front of a nine month pregnant lady!! (; On a happier note, I am SO excited for you to graduate! I remember us sitting in our room and talking about graduating like it was never going to happen, and look at us now! Congrats and enjoy it!